SHAWNOLOGY

I'm restarting this blogging process because a) some of my friends are still blogging/have begun blogging again and it makes such an interesting read(save for ~~a few~~ one cryptic motherf---er) and so I'd thought I'd return the favour! b) Clare tells me to and she says it's carthartic.

HENCEFORTH BEGINS A SERIES OF COMPLETELY NON-SEQUITUR THOUGHTS. I find such a thought process has come to define Shawn.

1
I'm really doubting the Carthasis that comes out of this blogging process! I Mean there's always this public audience; no matter how small, and the fact that shit stays forever online and there might be unforeseen consequences to what you post ie, @Steph! I guess this lends itself to the problem that out of the many facets of Shawn or experiences I do have, only the few that coincide with my preffered 'me' will surface.
How's that Carthatic in any sense? The Greek assume Cartharsis correctly as perceived by an AUDIENCE member because the extremely complicated internal dealings of a person in response to tragedy were (hopefully) completely honest to each individual and each individual could respond to the unnerving truths they had seen. But consider that what I put up is not 100% me, not because I'm fake(maybe la) but because there is so much of.. well, me that scares me? And that also had irreparable implications.

Also, I have a personal written diary so I much prefer that.

2
This is really random, but since I've already reflected about 2012 let me be shallow and share the most shallow thing I reflected upon which was my looks. Haha I really do believe I am strangely comfortable with the way I look now. Exeunt

3
I can't stand people who act like they are totally in demand in any group even when theyre not. AND EVEN WHEN THEY ARE ACTUALLY. It lends no support to the group and it's dynamics. The veracity of your "in-demandness" lends no credit to your behaviour. Seriously? Why would you that? To seem cool? and Popular? I thought such concepts dated in the teens and we are WAAAAAYY past that? No friends then hang out, busy then dont. WHAT THE F--- is the problem what strange demented, tormented Mean Girls quote have you come to identify with that causes such behaviour?
Worse still are people who judge me when I genuinely have no idea what to do but just want to weld a group and gel a group together and be a part of that group. This is in reference to no group in particular and don't guess because I have a fair share too many. Scratch that I think there's nothing wrong with wanting a million friends and being sincere is wanting to be that close to all of them. If I let you read my like an open book, accept the fact and move on. Read the damn book!
WHY JUDGE ME FOR BEING SO OPEN SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT?
I'm not entirely sure if being that open book is entirely my decision, and it doesn't matter. I just hope people are still naive enough to believe what I choose to! And perspicacious enough to deduce that such a belief is still very much worth holding on to.

4
Turn towards brevity?! Brevity is the soul of wit but damn son, your potrait of a mofo thousand words is typed by a bunch of monkey jamming keys. There is but that much meaning in gibberish.

You're not a poet, your not a guy whose name starts with th and has references to a penis.

What is the point of an audience if the title is longer that the story.

THIS AINT SCOODY DOO

THIS AINT GOONI GOO GOO

THIS AINT POETRY SLAM.

(non sequitur)

what kind of performance is this

Get a diary. This thought belongs in a diary hahahaha.

5
I love Cloud Atlas @Sudeep if you are reading. #YOUYND
Just a movie with such intricate attention to detail and Im a detail nigger so yeah.
So much to think about to and yes so much to feel.

Sigh I need a vlog thoughts are just slowly slipping out of my head.

Labels: birthdays, good news, hehe, long post, NOT happy, time waster, wasting time

What the hell. Its supposed to be rest time for after EOYS and suddnely I have stacks of work to do. But tis' okay let's talk about the funner stuff in Life before I proceed to checklist my next week. :D

Wokay so the rest of wednesday after working out I started studying for the new research attachment. God this stuff is hell ><. Materials Sciences+Physics+Chemistry+NO BIO? = HELL. I ASKED FOR A BIO PROJECT DUMBSHITS.

Anyway, thursday+friday was ultra fun. Went to KLP(again?) to bowl and I played 2 games. Haha well I guess I'm still pretty bad at it. But hey it was fun. Then we went to the arcade and I played Time Crisis. Actually I continued on from Shaw Shiuan and Bryan. But hey i still played really well until this guy with a anti-tank rifle for an arm with 8 full lives and supported by 500 axe-throwing terrorists in kelvar armor(discrepancy much?) sorta killed me. BUT I BROUGHT HIM TO 3 LIVES.

Anyway I went to seoul garden next. YEESH BRYAN YOUR PLAN IS SUCH A COPY OF ME/YC/MINGE/SANAT's outing plans. Nevermind, taking an idea from awesome is still awesome :D( uh I make myself sick). I think I ate a few cows/chickens/schools of fish. Also found out a lot of weird info bout this new group of friends. hehe. Its just.... well it's just another dysfunctional group of friends really, theres Amos always insulting ZiXiang, theres Shaw Shiuan being Bryan's slave. Haiz. Anyway had a fun time playing a crazy eating game, which IS ONCE AGAIN A DIRECT COPY OF MY USUALY PLAN. and whats worse was everyone was so pussy about it and the soup didnt even taste that bad.

The last part of the day which start at about 10pm was an excursion to Bryan's house. God I just realised how scandalous how all this sounds. It's about to get worse haha.

Okay so it was his Bday so we went to his house to play rock band, and beatles rock band. HAHA I AM PAUL MACARTNEY. :D that being said I am i pretty good singer/drummer. Then afterwards I think we sorta over did it since it was Bryan's bday, we played cards and took shots.

Vodka Shots. :D

I had alot. But the thing is I dont even turn red/feel dunk or even tipsy. not even tired. How am i supposed to be a party animal when im immune to alcohol. I even mixed the drinks D:.

Oh well I still have alot of work left.　

Checklist!

Think of something for Tuesday. Need to go to research opening ceremony, CCA photshoot and still be in school for resulsts release. STUDY MATERIAL CHEM BOOK.

Saturday Mg for awhile first, then Orgcomm outing. Wonder how it will go. I wonder if you orgcomm ppl have changed. (I know 6/12 doesnt haha)

Sunday MUST DO THE 2 PAPER 2s omg i hope i have time.

Thats all so far. dies.

Labels: birthdays, end of eoys, friends, guilty, Happy, NOT happy, plans, Rp

Oh you have no idea how much this song is helping me to cope.

Labels: Fail, friends, guilty, NOT happy, Rp, Tragedy

Why who doesn't love and respect their father.

Noone right? But most do so because its a social norm.

Some parts of the post are going to sound dreary and HK-drama serial like, but heck.

Today was a great day. Started off school fine, and the day was slack. There was the all important "Friendship Day", had physics, which is an eternal bore(what in the World is Cathode Ray CRO and Kinematics?), and we had PE, where i skipped my 2.4 pretest because i was "Sick". After recess, continued a class viewing of Erin Brokovich, which is a true masterpiece of modern flim(ok not really but its good).

After that, slacked around school and tried to build up stamina by running but never got to it. Had RP auditions, where numerous sec 1s and 2s came to try out. I'm not supposed to say anything(would be so rude). However the sec3s were tasked with the job of acting along with the auditionees , which i told we did quite badly at but nvm. Some good talented guys. Thats all i think. And a better turnout than I expected.

After that just screwed around with the always fantastic RP guys. Thing done included:
a VERY violent pillow fight
Trying to balance 7 people on 2 wobbly cresent shaped sponges
Singing and Dancing and Acting
Accents
Answering Zac's queries since he was playing are u smarter than a 5th grader

After that had dinner with the family at the crazy ass tampines area. You know the one with 3 malls around one shopping mall? And it was peak period. So we had dinner, and we were walking back home (its only 1km) and then halfway thru the bus stop we see this old lady, the sort that collects cans, smells like poop and most probably has an unfillial son who cant give a shit. She most probably had sort of some rheumatic problem cuz she was limping quite badly.

She fell from her walking stick. The cans she collected split on the floor and NOONE BLOODY HELPED HER UP. For 5 minutes my dad was in a moral dilemma. We were waiting for someone else to help her(as most singaporeans do). Noone did. Why, in a busy crowd, society doesnt seem to care if a frail old lady just collapse upon herself. WHY? I don't know if this problem is an sg one, but i think it is. We really need some slapping to wake us up from our moral slumber.

However, Thank GOD (and morals)(and courage from my dad) my dad went up to the poor woman, helped her with her cans and picked her up. But she was wobbly and unstable, and she needed a hand to hold. My god the crowd looked at my dad as if he was wrong to help the woman. I was about to break out into a rant at the crowd but i kinda banished the thought. My dad, brave and unfazed, picked the woman up(and she smlt really bad btw, like bad yogurt), walked,or sortof lifted) her to the nearest coffe shop about 100meters away. Not a word of complaint from my dad. He sat her and bought her some food(my god was she bony).

Throught all this, I wanted to cry. In anger, sadness, and pure respect.

A. WHY ARE THERE HOMELESS OLD WOMAN ON THE STREETS? WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN? WHY ISN"T THE GOVERNMETN DOING ANYTHING? FUCK!

b. Oh wow. This lady needs help. Wonder if Alicia Goh still has that friends of hers friend in social services.

c. Dad. You da man. I mean, would u have the guts to help this lady in a crowd of people trying to kill each other to get the the buses, blocking ALL of them in the process, because u knew it was the right thing to do? i wouldn't. i dont have the guts. My dad does. *Bows in respect*

Do I respect my father? yes. of course i do. the event speaks for itself.

Labels: good news, long post, NOT happy, Rp, WTF

So today was a harrowing experience.

Ever heard of rhinology? Neither have I haha. But i was introduced to the term while a black tube scope was stuffed up my nose. Heres the story:

After school, i had to go down to KK hospital for a nose checkup. My nose had been sporadically bleeding so i decided i had to see a doctor. So i went to the doctor.

So i say hi to him. I tell him my problem and he says he needs to check the insides of my nasal cavity. How?

Simple, we stuff a black tube with a camera up you nose!

So he sprays some anasthestic into each nostril thrice. Correction, he shoots jets of this into my nose. Uncomfortable. After awhile couldnt feel, smell or taste anything with my palates senses. So i thought it should be fine.

Then his nurse takes out this monster of a tube. He says its really thin, but its the thickness of my little finger. Which is btw really fat. He stuffs it up both nostrils, TWICE. After that, i felt so relieved. Luckily it wasn't anything malicious, like a tumour in my nose os somthing, just sensitivity. Throughout this whole process, he was trying to talking to me, in a failed attempt of calming me down. He talked about rhinology, how he was an RI boy. I felt like telling him to shut up but then the tube would break in my nasal cavity the moment i opened my mouth. Bad thought.

Never doing that again.

IBE tmrw. haha. Hope its money well spent.

P.S. Cheer up clar. Its no use feeling sad for a git like Mook.

Labels: Fail, friends, NOT happy, plans, Rp

I don't Know. (heyhey line from the play. nvm. sorry)

I've been feeling all so empty after my SYF, since it took up my time and was basically the reason i looked forward to school. Halfway thru the first period in class, I would think of rehearsals. During recess, i would look forward to rehearsals. basically, school was a time filler. Other cca friend felt syf was a pain and torture, but this production with rp was REALLY fun. it became like Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), or cannbis haha, some addictive drug. Now is the cold turkey period i guess.

Now that its over, theres NOTHING to look forward to. Life is back into a routine, and my post production blues are increasing exponentially.

Some people feel the worst effects of it immediately on the day after their play, but i dont.

Mine increases to a tipping point and i turn really sad. like i would b really sensitive and down. and unmotivated. Haha but i'll grow out of it! And be happy.

Right? Haiz. At least i found my true calling. Go RP!

Now that i got THAT out. Yey MGs. I've seen,heard and read so much about your adventures. Haha i bet fonny is the creator of like 90% of them all. What do yall study?

And its been so long since i've chatted with 6/12... Aha i still rmbr my weird jumpshot facial reactions with yall.

P.S. Good Luck Greg for your DI tmrw!

Labels: Fail, friends, good news, NOT happy, Rp, Tragedy, wasting time